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Sorry, I Had To Save Myself Before I Could Save Anybody Else
This digital property was developed by Click Star Marketing to help support the victim financially, repair the tension between her family, reconnect her with he the ones who love her and provide answers so that she may gain the strength to find herself, recover her soul and find peace of mind once and for all.
Love is when you give someone the power to destroy you, and you trust them not to.
Abuse is when that someone uses this power to isolate, threaten and control you.
Narcissist are individuals with an exaggerated sense of self having a grandiose ego of superiority over others , a strong sense of entitlement and are constantly in need of attention, affection, admiration, and praise. They seek out to find and target those who are most empathetic, nurturing, and sympathetic to their portrayal of having a troubled past, riddled with bad decisions, and bad luck. However, as victims later learn this is all too far from the truth as the narcissist have hidden lifestyles, secretive behaviors, mental disorders, that wreck havoc upon their primary sources of supply in which a trail of destruction is left behind. They become overly sensitive to narcissistic injury which is any perceived threat (real or imagined) to the narcissist’s self-esteem or self-worth. In order to maintain their illusion and protect their ‘false self’ they seek narcissistic supply from unsuspecting victims.
Unfortunately, victims are unaware of the dangers that exist in becoming involved with a narcissist until it’s too late and often after years of being subjected to trauma, abuse, and depression which may result in PTSD( Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) CD (Cognitive Dissonance) &, Stockholm Syndrome (Much like prisoners of war victims are left feeling they have to defend their abuser , love their abuser, despite years of captivity, isolation, deprivation, and abuse). Narcissist are not easily detected and often appear popular, coy, very polite, professional and courteous. They gain the victims trust by mirroring and projecting the traits of those they wish to emulate.
The narcissist views people as objects which can feed their needs (known as ‘sources of narcissistic supply’). The narcissist will use any tactic, without guilt, empathy or conscience, to make sure they get their narcissistic supply and their needs are met. Narcissistic supply comes from public attention such as fame, celebrity, notoriety, or infamy or private attention such as admiration, flattery, acclaim, fear, or even repulsion. Regular bearers of narcissistic supply include the spouse, children, friends, colleagues, partners and clients. Anything that acts as a status symbol that attracts attention and admiration for the narcissist is narcissistic supply, for example, a flashy car, expensive property, designer clothes, a beautiful mistress, being a member of a church, cult, club, or a business.
With an inflated sense of their own superiority, power and control, the narcissist renders themselves susceptible to all sorts of obsessions, compulsions, and addictions, for example, addiction to: narcissistic supply, grandiosity, control, power, rage, perfectionism, attention etc. The devastating impact of these addictions on their significant others can result in Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. Most victims present with no idea about what has happened to them. Narcissistic abuse is insidious because the abuse is covert, cunning and indirect. Narcissists go to great pains to avoid being observed publicly as being abusive.
Victims present themselves when they feel like they can’t cope. They are unaware that they have been living in a war zone. No-one has mentioned Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or narcissistic abuse to them. Victims of this narcissistic abuse often display a set, or cluster, of symptoms due to this physical, mental, emotional or spiritual abuse. A cluster of symptoms usually develop in the victim. Many are the symptoms of trauma (avoidance behaviour, loss of interest, feeling detached, sense of a limited future, sleeping or eating difficulties, irritability, hyper-vigilance, easily startled, flashbacks, hopelessness, psychosomatic illnesses, self-harming, thoughts of suicide etc). Narcissistic abuse victims express feelings of humiliation and shame, and apt to self-blame. They have learned to take responsibility for the narcissist’s behaviour because they are constantly told the problem is their fault. Some victims develop Stockholm Syndrome and want to support, defend, and love the abuser despite what they have gone through.
Victims tend to ‘dissociate’ or detach from their emotions, body, or surroundings. Living in a war zone where all forms of power and control are used against you (threats, intimidation, emotional, physical and mental abuse; isolation, economic abuse, sexual abuse, coercion, control etc), the threat of abuse is always present. Dissociation is an automatic coping mechanism against overwhelming stress. Victims are often victimized by more than one person. They often internalize that something is wrong with them, that they deserve this kind of abuse, and then resign themselves to their fate. Victims may not have reached their potential in their personal or professional lives because they always have to stand in the shadow of their aggressor, and not upstage them. They learn to live in the shadows without knowing why.
Victims of narcissistic abuse often appear uncertain of themselves, constantly seeking clarification that they haven’t made a mistake or misheard something. Confidence may be so low that they have trouble making simple decisions. Gradually, the victim cannot trust their own perceptions and doubt themselves. This often leads to depression. Broken and unable to trust themselves, they isolate themselves further. The victim now doubts everything about themselves, their thoughts and opinions, their ideas and ideals. They become co-dependent on the abuser for their reality.
Victims need validation and education about what has happened to them. They need information about the medical condition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and its toxicity in relationships. They need education about how they have contributed to their situation through co-dependence. They need therapy to deal with symptoms. They will need support to remove themselves from their narcissistic relationship, and to not repeat the cycle of abuse in their next relationship. One of their greatest challenges may come from not being believed by significant others, either because these others have not seen the private face of the narcissist or because they themselves are in the narcissist’s thrall.
Often times, victims have no idea they are even being manipulated, deceived, brainwashed by these toxic persons such as the narcissist until they are significantly involved within the relationship. Tactics such as love bombing, gaslighting (technique of brain washing used to instill confusion causing victims to question their own memory), and triangulation(creating an aura of desirability to draw victims closer) are used to win the hearts of these unsuspecting supplies and targets.
Narcissists are very deceiving, they are masters at utilizing mind games, they will lie about the most basic mundane things simply to gain the most attention, benefit, and fit their own selfish needs and wants. Victims are often known to feel a loss of self after years of abuse, denial, self questioning behaviors, and self examination of their own judgement. Narcissists have a plan from the very beginning of the honeymoon stage, to the love bombing ( use of flattery, declarations of love and romantic encounters to attract victims) and they have no remorse or empathy for those they abuse. Victims will never get the apology that they deserve.
They often are unable to figure out that they are being manipulated until it’s too late often at the detriment to their own personal lives and those closest to them. Many victims are left without the basics and have no foundation upon which to rebuild their lives. After years of abuse and mind games they may be questioning their ability to leave. They may have been told if they leave the abuser will harm them or further isolate them from family and friends preventing their escape. The years of abuse may have them feeling depressed, alone, and emotionally drained. Victims may be unwilling to change their situation but in fact they may be physically exhausted and unable to help themselves. Sadly, victims are deceived into believing the relationship they had would be fulfilling, rewarding, loving, nurturing, and kind.
Victims are blamed, made to feel crazy, second guessing their own actions as a direct result of the false accusations labeled against them by the narcissist concerning something they did or didn’t do. Narcissist are very good at twisting the truth, exaggerating the facts, and creating drama for their own personal gains. Often times the narcissist will surround themselves with enablers, harem, or loyal followers who often don’t wish to admit they too are victims or may think they are supporting a fake persona who is ultimately the narcissist.
So what can someone do to help those who might find themselves in such precarious situations. First and foremost always believe the victims. Never blame them or discount their stories. Let them know they are not alone. Allow them the opportunity to speak, and quietly listen being their supportive guidance. When victims tell their story it’s often for reasons such as validation, approval, acceptance, acknowledgement, understanding, love, and support. Never make generalizations about the relationship or inferences concerning the break up. This is not a “typical breakup” . It’s not simply a bruised ego or a broken heart. The relationship was based upon a foundation of lies and deceit that was enhanced with an evil plan of mind games and trickery from a truly sick individual with a mental personality disorder. The recovery after being devalued and discarded doesn’t involve simply getting over a few “hardships” that everyone has had to endure in life.
Narcissistic relationships involve years of fear, intimidation, degradation, humiliation, chastisement, beratement, lying, cheating, adultery, deceit, abuse, neglect, depression, isolation,& abandonment. Years of this type of brainwashing and mental torture leaves victims feeling as lost souls and having low self esteem, low confidence with a low self worth. Trust, confidence, and beliefs levels in oneself are left questionable.
Soul Recovery is great for people who have been through narcissistic abuse because this type of abuse is really a type of “soul rape”. You have lost pieces of your soul to the abuse and in order to be fully empowered in your life again you must reclaim those lost parts of yourself. We lose pieces of our soul through trauma, pain and abuse. At the time of the trauma a piece of ourselves gets stuck in that time and we lose part of our life force energy with that piece.
Soul Recovery is a process by which we regain those pieces of ourselves that have been lost. In order to experience life with passion and joy you must have all your pieces. This will allow you to step fully into your life purpose and do the work you have come here to do. This frees up your energy from subconscious memories that have traveled with you for ages preventing you from being fully present in the here and now.